sore feet, misplaced vanity

21 Aug

photo reproduced from

To that woman i saw hobbling along the street as we drove back from Heaver today after a lovely family day out:

If you can’t walk in the bloody shoes don’t wear them.

This isn’t the 19th Century where you’re carried about by a sedan chair and a couple of porters. There are lots of lovely shoes out there you could at least make a good attempt at teetering in when you’re sober.

You might say you only need to get from cab to bar and back to cab. But really, you’re being a tad unrealistic.

The thing is, when you stand in front of that mirror you might look all perfect with your freshly manicured nails,  topped-up tan , hair coiffed and lines botoxed, but when you’re in motion my lovely, you just look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame with skinny legs and a nice pair of shoes.

One quick trip to the loo and the aura of sophistication and glamour you’ve worked so hard to create is gone in an instant. Poof.

14 Responses to “sore feet, misplaced vanity”

  1. Rachel August 21, 2010 at 7:31 pm #

    There you go! *claws*
    True though, I think it’s hilarious seeing them. I call them pigeons.

  2. Kate August 21, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    PMSL. I know why I tend to wear flatties. I am sh—ockingly bad at high heels. Good job I’m tall. 😉

  3. Alethea August 21, 2010 at 8:48 pm #

    Tee hee, brilliant!

  4. Jess August 21, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    On the very very rare occasions I dare to go out in heels I always get the feeling I’m going to regret it the next day – when I’m carrying the bike no.1 son now says he’s too tired to ride while sprinting after no.2 to catch him before he slides into the road. Defo don’t need crippling heel injuries to deal with there.

    And I look like a drag queen when I wear them.

  5. Rosemary August 21, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

    and just think what those heels do to you in older age! Very nasty!

  6. fruitybooty August 21, 2010 at 9:54 pm #

    haha Most dressy shoes eat at my ankles. If it gets unbearable I’ll take them off and go barefoot. Kinda defeats the purpose of a shoe then huh.

  7. burblingbee August 21, 2010 at 10:40 pm #

    Ha, so so true! I gain just a smidgen of satisfaction from watching people wearing heels when they blatantly can’t walk in them, or have blisters and are being a bit tentative.

    Hypocritical really, since on the rare occasions I have worn heels, I too do a strange walk, but it’s still fun 🙂

  8. jfb57 August 22, 2010 at 2:07 pm #

    Brilliant observation! I’m amazed at the torture people (women mostly!) will put themselves through for the sake of fashion! I cringe when I think of some of the get-ups I wore!

  9. 21stcenturymummy August 22, 2010 at 5:05 pm #

    That used to be me – in my youth (not the hunch back of notre dame bit I hope!) I only ever used to wear (very high) heels unless on a beach. I genuinely didn’t own flat shoes.

    Since having children, things have changed and flats rule. I have completely forgotten how to walk in heels. I wore some brand new, literally killer heels, at a wedding a couple of weeks ago. They were so painful I took them off as soon as we sat down to eat.

    ps Have you seen the new smartrike ad on TV? The woman in it has ridiculously high heels pushing around her child – as if!

  10. Itsamummyslife August 22, 2010 at 6:19 pm #

    To think in the old days I’d walk all the way to the tube, then to the office, then out to the pub, then back home in a pair of heels, what a total nutter. These days, I know what I need. Proper flat mum shoes! Unless I’ve got my handy Sedan chair that is 😉


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