Having it all

13 Mar

Can women really have it all?

I was brought up to believe we could. A good career, husband, babies. What someone failed to mention was that we’d have to work so damn hard we might not enjoy ourselves very much. I do believe that in some way women have stitched themselves up. Of course women and men should have all the same choices in life, are equal, should have access to the same jobs etc etc. However, in my experience, if you want to work, you’ve either got to comprimise your ambition and take a job for flexibility rather than excitement, or accept that you’ll be a weekend mum. (unless you’re superwoman of course, and i do think there are some of those out there). Now a choice between those two doesn’t seem like “having it all” to me. Maybe i was brought up expecting too much…..

10 Responses to “Having it all”

  1. bsouth March 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    I came across a lot of negativity and surprise when I announced that I wasn’t going back to work. My colleagues all assumed that I would be going back to work. I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way but hopefully it’s starting to come back to some sort of middle ground.

  2. hpretty March 13, 2010 at 4:58 pm #

    And hopefully a place where the job of looking after children full time is as highly regarded as having a career.

  3. pip March 15, 2010 at 3:02 pm #

    Love the blog…. I fall into the same bucket – it is not possible to have it all! Sad but true. I look forward to giving up work and being at home with the children. I do know it is going to hard work!

    The only trouble I have is what do I tell my daughter! Do I inspired her to believe she can do anything at all or do I give her a heavy dose of reality and distroy her dreams (or potential dreams as she is only 2 after all!) ….. either way I am sure she will hate me until she has children of her own and then she might understand.

  4. hpretty March 15, 2010 at 6:32 pm #

    If you’d asked me even a few years ago I would have been on the other side of the fence. Even now I would certainly not say that other people couldn’t do it. Just that i found it too difficult. Being a mum changes your priorities; I couldn’t be the kind of mum i wanted to be and have the career i wanted. I always had my mind partly on something else wherever i was. That was too comprimising for me. Of course, there is always the option of daddy staying at home, or taking a less demanding job, but somehow it does more often seem to fall the other way. Of course I also have to register that i am incredibly lucky to even have the option, which many people just don’t. As for Jemima, she might be one of those superwomen so give her all the ambition you can!

  5. hpretty March 15, 2010 at 6:36 pm #

    ps of course, if there was such a thing as part time in my chosen career (and sufficiently paid), I wouldn’t be having this discussion!

  6. Saffy June 6, 2010 at 10:56 am #

    Shucks, reading this is like being in therapy – in a good way. I’ve heard so many disparaging comments about the prospect of this highly educated career woman ‘chucking it in’ to care for my baby – like I’m committing a mortal sin. How refreshing to find some women actually saying that it’s a) ok to take time out and b) it’s not likely that you’ll be able to have it all (at once).


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