The Lovely Bones: the film and me

21 Dec

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Christmas is rushing at me at a hundred miles an hour I hardly have time to breathe, let alone think. Except people keep reminding me of the significance. Telling me how sorry they are, how difficult it must be, how much I must miss her. Somewhere below the surface I sense the gaping hole, but I am being carried along by the momentum of childhood.

And thank God for that ceaseless wave of agitation that rolls up and down but is never one way for long.

I watched The Lovely Bones for the second time the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it. How dark and menacing the world can be, but how beautiful things can come out of that tragedy. New relationships can form, old ones strengthen, your focus crystallised on life’s brief flashes of wonderment.

You can’t keep looking backwards with regret and loss, you must look to the future and allow yourself to be swept along in the tide of life.

I’m not sure if that IS what the film was about, but it’s what I took from it. A sense of magic, mystery, hope sparking free amongst the ashes.

Yes Christmas will be difficult this year, I miss my mum every day with an aching that never dissipates and I am still incredulous as to how I got here and just how much I’ve lost.

But living in the here and now, treasuring the precious moments with my family and especially my beautiful boys – well, I have my own lovely bones right here.


11 Responses to “The Lovely Bones: the film and me”

  1. jfb57 December 21, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

    +Well done you yet again. It is about the here and now and the children will always help with that at Christmas. xx

  2. jfb57 December 21, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

    Just noticed your ‘Dying Matters’ badge. Off to investigate

  3. The Bearded Iris December 21, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    Simply beautiful. I’m so sorry about the loss of your Mum. Bet she’s smiling at the love you have for her and the rest of your family.

  4. Blue Sky December 21, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    Yes people are saying similar things to me about Christmas, but I am also keeping so busy that I do not have time to think, because thinking is unthinkable, I can’t do it x

  5. anne December 22, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    beautifully said as always!! Christmas is a time to reflect the year, to remember our loved ones, to bask in memories and to look forward to the future; and for that I wish you all the best and a very merry Christmas. Anne xx

  6. kelloggsville December 22, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    oh “what anne said’ – gosh I wish I had said that. x

  7. Simone @Greatfun4kids December 22, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    Have a wonderful Christmas Henri – our Christmas three years ago just after Rory’s father died we thought would be difficult. but you are right – when you have little ones they carry you along in their need for a magical Christmas, and somehow as long as you have them wrapped around you, it’s OK.

    So I pray (yes PRAY) that this year Christmas will surprise you with its goodness.
    Luv and hugs from

  8. Mrs TeePot December 23, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

    *massive hugs* my love

  9. janeblackmore December 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    Hi lovely,

    Have a lovely Christmas, sending you lots of love

    J x

  10. Kirrily December 29, 2011 at 8:28 am #

    Oh yes yes yes. I adore this movie (and the book) immensely. For all the reasons you mention. That bit where the mother goes in to the room and sees her daughter in the window….. I cannot breathe in that part. It is so exhiliratingly beautiful to me.

    Have you read the book? It literally makes you stop, put it down and let it sink in/wash over you, the lessons in it.

    Much gentle love to you. This is a funny kind of year.

  11. Arianna Hardman Pulesanderu January 8, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

    It was a book that I felt had so much heart that you couldn†t read it and not feel filled up again.

I'm all about the debate. Would love to hear what you think.

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