What kind of mother?

23 Jun

As I find myself running down the street, book bag in one hand, drink, drawings and dirty socks in the other, desparately trying to keep up with my two sons on scooters as they career down the road with brick wall on one side and bustling traffic on the other, all I can think over and over is “What am I doing? What kind of mother lets her sons do this?”

Am I in control? Only just.

When I catch sight of their mud splattered hands as they eat chips and beans with their fingers, delightedly licking the grimy ketchup from the tips. When I see my littlest disappearing into the shed in his bare feet, or the eldest poking at the toaster to free his “just can’t wait any longer” crumpet. What I’m thinking is “This is dangerous. Just what kind of mother allows this?”

Is there enough discipline in this house? Rarely.

But the truth is, I’m a normal mum; far too honest probably, clinging onto acceptable motherhood with my knickers on inside out, and frequently falling short of my own expectations. But totally unexceptional nonetheless.

13 Responses to “What kind of mother?”

  1. The Mad House June 23, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

    I had a meeting with the school about Maxi today and I explain that I was at one point very close to pulling him out of a project that he was doing as I didn’t like the “sort ” of children that is included, but I decided not to, as it isn’t a perfect world and I was giving him life skills by letting him deal with these things, in some ways you are doing the same. I believe children need the freedom to make their own mistakes, to push boundaries and understand that not everyone or everything is perfect. I also believe that you are the RIGHT mother for your children, there is no such thing as a perfect mother. I am looking forward to finally meeting you on Sat

    • Miss Jacq June 23, 2011 at 6:48 pm #

      I couldn’t have said it better myself. The only difference is I look forward to meeting you both next year. Have a lovely Weekend at Cybermummy11. Also as always Henrietta, great post.

  2. Dara June 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    Haha. Susie sent me your post link. And it’s all true. Although we don’t have a shed, we have a garage.
    I did the exact same thing the other day – watched my eldest pick his fishcake off his plate with his dirty, muddy, just patted the puppies who haven’t been dewormed in a while, hands and eat it with relish.
    And I thought : “you are a bad mother” but that was immediately drowned out by “oh my god! I got him to eat fish and vegetables!”
    You pick your battles. Sometimes you pick not to battle at all.

  3. Chris Mosler June 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

    I think our own expectations of ourselves are limiting and should be expunged. You sound like a normal mum to me! I think it is good for children to be allowed to push the boundaries and test themselves a bit. You can’t wrap them up in cotton wool and produce a rounded independent person. As Jen says, you are the right Mum fro your children and I too can’t wait to meet you on Saturday! x

  4. TheBoyandMe June 23, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    A good mother does this because she allows her children freedom to explore the world while keeping a watchful eye on them to ensure they are safe. You are a good mother.

  5. rozzibee June 23, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    A bad mother wouldn’t even think about it, but you do, so that makes you a great one x

  6. Sarah, Maison Cupcake June 23, 2011 at 6:30 pm #

    All sounds perfectly normal to me!

  7. bsouth June 23, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

    All sounds perfectly healthy and normal to me. I think you’re doing a fab job and your boys have always seemed perfectly delightful to me. Be kind to yourself.

  8. kelloggsville June 23, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    If I thought too hard about it, I’d be amazed my daughter hasn’t come to some untimely demise from my lack of mothering skills. Ho hum, it’ll make them better adults for having faced ‘challenges’ as children 🙂 (is a smiley better or worse than an exclamation mark?) I’m always so worried about leaving comments now for fear of the grammatical marking I get ! (bugger there’s another)

  9. Simone June 24, 2011 at 1:42 am #

    You know what they say. Dirt is Good.
    Apparently it helps build a spectacular immune system…
    Great post funny girl!

  10. fleetwoodboy June 24, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Haha. As the first of your blogs I’ve read I think your s normal mum with normal kids. Must read more

  11. Muddling Along June 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    With Jen on us being the right mothers for our children

    I think the weight of expectation can be very unhelpful – my children enjoy running free and being able to be children and letting them do that is hard for me BUT probably best for them

    Ultimately if they are reasonably clean, disease free and not damaging themselves then we’re doing ok

I'm all about the debate. Would love to hear what you think.

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