Read this and your life will be easier…

26 Oct

Frickin’ hell, i’ve sold big there haven’t i?

Good golly let’s hope this one measures up. Here goes.

Ban the words “should” and “ought to” from your vocabulary. Substitute in “would like to” and “am going to”.

Shimple.

Yes, that’s really it. Pure genius.

Well actually it is. Try it. The next time you think “God, i really OUGHT TO clean the bathroom” wipe that thought from your mind, and think “Do i WANT to clean the bathroom? Will it give me pleasure once it’s done?” If the answer’s yes, then do it. Willingly. If you don’t fancy it, don’t do it. Sit on your arse and watch the brand new series of Dating in the Dark instead.

Likewise if your “big brother” voice kicks in with “You really SHOULD go out tonight. Mary/Betty/Damian will be so disappointed if you don’t”, tread that *stard of a voice down with one swift stamp of the foot, and think instead “Would i LIKE to go out tonight?”. This simple yes/no question will be answered with ease.

What’s more, you won’t end up out with Mary/Betty/Damian cursing your decision to go out with this boring bunch of losers (why are they still your friends anyway?) and behaving like an utter prick just to spite them.

Impressed?

Yeah i thought you would be. And what’s more, just because i love you, here’s one more pearl of Milky wisdom for free. Knock yourself out.

Learn the words “I’ve done enough now” and use them. Daily.

16 Responses to “Read this and your life will be easier…”

  1. MummyT October 26, 2010 at 12:48 pm #

    Fantastic stuff! I’m going to try it…

    Also — seriously, as a working girl again, you should get a cleaner…

  2. jay October 26, 2010 at 12:51 pm #

    The logic behind this is almost frightening. Let me see.

    “would I LIKE to get my butt off this sofa?”

    “no”.

    Ohhhhh I like this already…

  3. backawaydonut October 26, 2010 at 1:56 pm #

    LOL-I wrote something similar. Maybe???

    http://www.newdaynewlesson.com/?p=4638

  4. Fran Armour October 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

    Simples!

    Ah but is it really? I’ve been throwing up since six this morning and OH took ids to school so I could go back to bed. I did indeed go back to bed and am now racked with guilt. He’s gone off to do the school run again so I could relax and I very nearly put the ironing board up to tackle that mound of ironing I should be doing!

    Brava on your post and I will now subsequently cite this every time I should be doing something. ..

  5. Mwa October 26, 2010 at 2:31 pm #

    Em – I think I need opposite advice from that. I’ve a serious lack of accomplishments going on right now.

    • marketingtomilk October 26, 2010 at 5:46 pm #

      yeah well i guess there needs to be some balance. it’s a post intended for those where it’s swung the other way for sure x

  6. Princess L October 26, 2010 at 5:06 pm #

    Very wise words. I shall write these in my filofax so I remember them!

    • marketingtomilk October 26, 2010 at 5:45 pm #

      filofax? sheesh girl are you living in the early 1990s?

  7. kelloggsville October 26, 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    also replace ‘but’ with ‘and’. gives immeasurable pleasure. nice post. am typing one handing. hence lack of capitals as i said “do i want to lift my chin off this hand?” clearly a big no!

    • marketingtomilk October 26, 2010 at 7:52 pm #

      yeah that But & And stuff is straight outta the assertiveness manual. “I fully take on board your point there, and i think you’re a loser.”

  8. Kate October 26, 2010 at 7:45 pm #

    I luff this. I think I do this way too much. 😉

  9. Lady-Like Pervert October 26, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

    I’m gonna stomp my foot and say “Do I WANT to fold the laundry?” Then my foot will say No. So I’ll stomp it again and say “Then would you LIKE a glass of wine then?” My foot will say Yes.
    I love you Milk.
    xo

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Milk in 2011 « - December 31, 2010

    […] say “*ck it” more often, and really mean it (but not in front of the kids, […]

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