Excuse me!

2 Jun

I’ve never farted in front of my husband.

We’ve been together for 10 years. I’ve given birth in front of him. Twice.

But somehow i’ve never been able to bring myself to expel a bit of wind.

Let’s say we’ve opened up on many other fronts since having children. To be honest, there’s not an awful lot that can be kept private when little people are forever opening doors on you unexpectedly.

And i’ll burp away happily. Loud, joyous ones.

But i’d be mortified if anything ever popped out the other end. (Thankfully kids can be useful blame targets).

It’s an amusing fact. Irrational. And frequently inconvenient.

What would you never do in front of your partner?

9 Responses to “Excuse me!”

  1. bsouth June 2, 2010 at 7:51 am #

    Hmm. Interesting question. I’ll have to think about that and get back to you. I’m afraid I’ve farted in front of my husband on many occassions (but would only do it in front of him, never in front of anyone else – does that make it better?).

  2. rachel frowd June 2, 2010 at 8:25 am #

    pick my nose. He does it in front of me. daily. but, despite farting in front of him for years (eek), would be embarrassed if he saw me picking my nose!

  3. jfb57 June 2, 2010 at 8:43 am #

    I do it but feel uncomfortable & that is taking my clothes off! I’m not too bad once I’m naked but I have such a low self esteem of my physical body that it all feels rather exposed! He says he loves me & that I have a great body but then beuaty is in the eye of the beholder!

  4. JulieB June 2, 2010 at 8:55 am #

    Seriously? Never? Not even by accident, when you weren’t expecting it?

    You might guess from my incredulity that I HAVE been known to fart in front of my husband – not on purpose, mind you, not one of those “male” farts, where they have to make a big deal of it. Just a small, ladylike “pfft” sigh of air (yeah, right).

    I think the only taboo between us is number 2s – definitely no poohing in front of other people – am slowly drumming this into the children, eldest is now at the stage of sending me out of the bathroom when she goes! So proud.

    • marketingtomilk June 2, 2010 at 9:10 am #

      oh god, come on, that goes without saying! I’ll leave that for the incontinent days…..

  5. Deer Baby June 2, 2010 at 9:10 am #

    You cannot be serious??? Never, never, never? That’s a lot of holding in.

    I must say I don’t do it in general. Or leave the bathroom door open. Or do any of that two sinks business. What is with that? One sink is perfectly adequate. I don’t like shaving my legs in front of my husband.

    I wrote a piece for Red magazine about this called Too Much Information. Unfortunately they thought it was too much information.

    It’s weird isn’t it when they have seen you give birth, but I still think it’s good to keep the mystery alive!

    • marketingtomilk June 2, 2010 at 9:13 am #

      no, never.
      i think having had 2 caesarians probably helps my control a bit…. (is that too much information?!)
      i love that the editors of red probably commissioned the piece but couldn’t take the truth!

  6. Estelle June 2, 2010 at 8:00 pm #

    Someone I know farts freely in front of their partner. She says ‘it lets the bad spirits out’!!!!!

  7. Princess L June 2, 2010 at 8:14 pm #

    I’m the same! I don’t burp though, never have done, but if something does come out the other end I get so embarrassed it’s awful!

I'm all about the debate. Would love to hear what you think.

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