Friday 101: part 3 (tutting)

23 Apr

I’ll get straight to the point this Friday.

I would like to request that the following type of person be sent straight to the recycle bin:

Anyone found shaking their head or rolling their eyes at me.

This typically happens when i’m driving and another driver disapproves of something i do. I would so much rather be called a “dumb *tch” or much worse, than be given this condescending, “i am above you” gesture.

It really gets my goat. Makes my blood boil. Makes me go euuugh!

I think it’s probably because it’s fairly easy to push my “inferior” button. Make me feel small.

Maybe it’s something to do with being the youngest child? You were always the one with the least experience. The least knowledge. The least power. All the shakes of the head and the “don’t be so silly” s piled up over those formative years into a bit of a chip.

And so when you get the shake of the head or the roll of the eyes it gets you like the elder sister frown. The mother tut. The disapproving voice of your father saying “Look what you’ve gone and done. Will you ever learn?”

Every time i promise myself i’ll get those laminated cards made. The ones you always wish you had to flash through the window. Cards with big lettering saying something really witty and cutting. So much smarter than the two fingers. The two fingers means you’ve lost control. Given away the upper hand. Plus i’ve usually got the kids in the car, and they can’t read yet.

That’s what i’d really like to do. To those drivers that are silently tutting at me. Symbolically trying to take me down a peg or two with their head shake or eye roll.

Either that or recreate that scene from the Omen with the plate of glass, and slice their disapproving head off.

7 Responses to “Friday 101: part 3 (tutting)”

  1. Simone April 23, 2010 at 11:02 am #

    That’s funny. I am an eldest sister. And I am also an eye-roller/headshaker. But never at YOU. promise. Mainly at the STUPID drivers.
    The ones who get in my way or drive too slow or pull out without indicating or… OK there’s a lot. I’m usually in a hurry because I’m so darn disorganised that I’m running a wee bit late…
    But I LIKE your laminated sign idea. I may have to pinch that one. Soooo much more effective than an eye-roll or a head shake. Thanks!!

  2. marketingtomilk April 23, 2010 at 11:18 am #

    It’s an older sister thing then, obviously! Just look what you’ve done to us ;<)

  3. christinemosler April 23, 2010 at 1:19 pm #

    Laminated signs are definately the way to go! I lost it in Sainsurys car park this week when an older woman did the gesture thing at me and then clearly said ‘you could get a bus through there’ through her open window as I squeezed my large car past her 4×4 (you couldn’t get a bus through BTW because SHE had stopped at a stupid pointy angle and I did VERY well to get through without amputating her enormous wing mirror)…I shouted ‘oh shut up’ in a weirdly cockney accent like a barrow boy (I am from the Midlands and have lived in the west country for 20 years!). I wish I had had a witty sign instead!

  4. Positively Divorced April 23, 2010 at 4:47 pm #

    I hate that “I wish I’d said blah blah” feeling, it’s so frustrating! What get’s my goat is when men watch/comment on women parking. And YES chaps I’m a lady that can park a car so here’s a couple of my retorts:

    A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
    You my friend, are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot

    More famous put downs (Winston Churchill’s are my favourites)

  5. Deer Baby April 24, 2010 at 7:18 pm #

    God I’m glad I don’t drive!

  6. Barbara April 26, 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    It’s definitely an older sister thing. I am an older sister and also have an older sister. I do the eye-rolling thing and HATE it when it’s done to me!

  7. YummyNo1 April 28, 2010 at 7:05 pm #

    Love this post! And this is why I don’t drive…. ; )

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