Get confessing!

15 Mar

The first time it happened to me was during postnatal classes with my first son. I can’t remember the exact context but i recall offering up the following piece of personal experience. “I mean, I know I’ve really lost my temper with mine” I piped up “twice I’ve even shouted at the top of my lungs for him to “just shut up”! But, haven’t we all”? Rather than the chorus of agreement I was expecting, I can still remember the deadly silence. The blank looks.

This seems to have become a bit of a theme for me. Apparently noone has left their baby on the changing table unattended while they reached to get something, I am the only person that sometimes leaves the stairgate open knowingly, and I am most certainly on my own when it comes to frequently forgetting to brush my sons’ teeth . Now either I am the worst parent on the planet, or I am the only one being honest.

When I say honest, i do mean most of the time. Even I’m guilty of sometimes trying to be the parent I wish i could be rather than the flawed one that I am. I do believe that if we were all just a little bit more honest about our flaws and stopped thinking “should” all the time, how much less guilty would we feel?

So, in the spirit of being honest, here are 5 confessions (believe me there are many more!):

1) I almost never remember to wash my sons’ hands before mealtime.

2) My children have biscuits every day, usually as a bribe to keep them quiet.

3) I have called my eldest “stupid” to his face in frustration. Twice. (For which i am thoroughly ashamed).

4) I regularly use the tv to babysit my children.

5) I’ve never looked at the salt or sugar content on food packets.

In the end, don’t we all just do what we have to to get by?

Come on, don’t leave me out in the cold, add your own confessions below. Two fingers up to Supernanny!


27 Responses to “Get confessing!”

  1. tim March 15, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    There is nothing I find harder about parenthood than patience. To be aware of yourself and the situation is all you can do, and all I try and do is be a little better next time. Never manage it mind.

  2. Kristin March 16, 2010 at 3:35 am #

    My husband and I surreptitiously throw away the cheerleading and soccer fliers that come home in my daughter’s backpack. We don’t want to have to spend our weekends carting our kids around to games and competitions.

  3. hpretty March 16, 2010 at 8:17 am #

    I throw away most of my eldest’s artwork when he brings it home from school. Is that worse?

    • Annabel April 11, 2010 at 7:11 am #

      I had to laugh at the artwork confession! lol 🙂 We all do it!! x

  4. bsouth March 17, 2010 at 5:51 pm #

    Well, I can certainly join you in all the ones in your post, and the throwing away of artwork.

    I was also the woman who piped up in the post natal class about how fed up I was having to pander to this small tyrant that showed me no appreciation at all. I’m always more than happy to admit that I’m not the “perfect parent” although I’m not entirely sure what that is exactly. Super-Nanny esque, I’m sure.

    So, confessions.

    If they’re given chocolate I hide it and eat it myself.
    I buy those blessed CBeebies magazines for them and then secretly put them in the recycling about a day later when I’m fed up with them. I then lie to them and tell them I don’t know where I put them.

    Am I over sharing yet? I can go on?
    If my son falls out of bed and doesn’t wake up, I leave him there until we go to bed – what’s the point in putting him back just so he can fall out again? If he’s asleep he must be comfortable – right?
    I hate it when my children are ill because it means I can’t have a drink in case they (a) become so ill we have to go to hospital (and I’m not being melodramatic – it happens to us a lot!) or (b) have to be up in the night dealing with them.

    And if you want the really bad one, the one I’m really ashamed of – I fed my at the time not quite 2 year old son peanut butter knowing that children shouldn’t have nuts until they’re 3 (I think that’s recently been amended to 5). As you know it triggered a severe allergy. The allergy would have been triggered at some point anyway but I still feel like the worst mother in the world.

    Your children are happy, well fed, mostly clean (come on, they’re children!) and have a warm loving home to live in. You can’t ask for much more in life.

  5. bsouth March 17, 2010 at 5:51 pm #

    Blimey, that was almost a post in itself wasn’t it? Sorry, I got a bit carried away!

  6. hpretty March 18, 2010 at 9:42 am #

    I always eat all the chocolate my neighbour gives me for the boys. AFter all, rather my teeth….

  7. Rachel Frowd March 18, 2010 at 6:33 pm #

    I frequently left my baby on the sofa, despite knowing she might roll off. She did. Twice.

    It doesn’t occur to me to wash her hands before mealtimes.

    But you are definitely a bad mother for throwing art work away. I will tell Billy this when he’s older.

  8. Saskia March 19, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

    Hi Henri – your blog made me laugh out loud in the office. This week I ate almost all of her small packets of chocolate buttons. I always forget the handwashing, toothbrushing is once a day and twice on a good day – and there are plenty more examples that I am not proud off. I am still counting on the fact that she will probably not remember what it was like when she was 4 and hopefully I have become a better parent when she hits the years that she will remember in the future…

  9. Paul Frowd March 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    Are dads allowed to confess too? If so Ella has certainly had a few visits to the pub when in my sole care! Loving the blog btw, keep it up

  10. hpretty March 23, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    As long as she didn’t have more than a couple of pints i think u should be alright ;<)

  11. jomiddleton April 2, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

    I do ALL of those things with my children. I also only give my youngest a bath about once a week – I just forget until she starts to look grubby or smell a bit off.

    I comfort myself with the fact that they hardly ever get ill, whereas the children of a good friend who wash their hands regularly and have daily baths are always coming down with some kind of bug.

    Basically I pretend I neglect them on purpose to strengthen their immune systems 🙂

  12. Hayley April 2, 2010 at 2:39 pm #

    He never washes his hands before mealtime .. unless we’re at his great grandparents lol, haribo are an all too often bribe. I’ve tantrumed AT him when he’s been bugging me. TV is his babysitter and one I trust. God thats just the start!

  13. hpretty April 2, 2010 at 6:08 pm #

    jo – my children are also rarely ill which i put down to slack disinfecting.
    Hayley – i think i have more tantrums than my 3 yr old. daily.
    ho hum

  14. burblingbee April 3, 2010 at 4:03 pm #

    I have just had to make an emergency dash to Tesco to replace an Easter Egg that was given to one of my children after I ate it.

    My children would have starved without the invention of fish fingers long ago, biscuits are given regularly (gives me an excuse to eat them too!) and my daughter is bribed to do her spellings.

    And that’s just the start! Absolutely recognise everything you do on your list 🙂 Confession is good for the soul (and Cbeebies is good for the sanity)

  15. asmallhandinmine April 5, 2010 at 12:59 pm #

    Loving this very honest post! I also found that the mums in the mum and baby classes were all trying to pretend they were perfect. Without thinking I changed my son’s nappy on the floor one day at a mother and baby session, I got a lot of disapproving looks.
    I let my son fall asleep almost every night on his front as a baby, despite huge recommendation that this could up the chances of cot death, as he just WOULD NOT sleep otherwise.
    I also use the TV as a babysitter, especially on those days where I wake up and just cant be bothered getting dressed let alone traipsing down to the park/soft play/swimming pool.
    Hand washing, tooth brushing and bathing irregularly, I can also identify with.
    I keep thinking to myself, if I have another I will do everything right that time around, when realistically I will probably just do lots of different wrong things.

  16. Annabel April 11, 2010 at 7:22 am #

    I do all of these!

    Thank you! I feel normal and laughed loads while reading these.


  17. Positively Divorced April 11, 2010 at 7:39 am #

    This post rang true to my heart. At last I feel slightly less guilty!
    OK, so here’s my most recent top three:
    1. The XBox has become the substitute babysitter, replacing the TV. I justify this by thinking that it’s good for developing the kids hand/eye co-ordination and their IT skills.
    2. I have accidently on purpose not told the kids about party invites because I had better plans/couldn’t be bothered taking them.
    3. I don’t like the school run! I regularly turn up a couple of minutes late at school pick up time to avoid the gaggle of mothers and their incessant gossip. Although recently I have found some kindred spirits that I run into the playground with, who are equally red faced because they are late for the same reasons 😉

  18. marketingtomilk April 11, 2010 at 7:50 am #

    of course i’m currently feeling morally superior to you because my son only does cbeebies computer games, and they are E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N-A-L!!!!
    ha ha ha

  19. MegDoan April 23, 2010 at 7:33 pm #

    Agree with all five, apart from point 2: I swap biscuits for chocolate buttons at weekends. During a week I just send her off to nursery. The truth is: I just can’t deal with her myself. Back to chocolate – I’ve eaten the most of her Easter egg myself. Point 3: never called her ‘stupid’ but said some other things I am so ashamed of I don’t want to say them here. As for artwork – she saw her piece of work in a bin once and said ‘T made it – no bin’. Kept them all ever since.
    I do love Supernanny though. She makes me feel better. Seeing those poor families with sometime absolutely uncontrollable monsters make me think that I’ve still got a chance…

  20. Tanya (Bump2Basics) July 26, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

    Here here for the parents not afraid to show they are not perfect! I am definitely also guilty of turning my back to mine while she is on the changing table. Being that that is above her cot I seriously now have to watch that with all her rolling. I have made yet another boo boo this past week as well that I’m going to blog about….it has to do with honey….

  21. Isy September 10, 2010 at 12:49 pm #

    I’m perfect. I can do all the mistakes mentioned above without a trace of imperfection lol !!


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