This post is inspired by Megdoan.
Noone knows, or even asks my name anymore. I am “so and so’s mummy”.
To be fair, i am the same. I have become an expert at avoiding the need to address anyone by name, and can manage hours of conversation without it.
If i’m out with the buggy people wave and say hello, sometimes stop to talk. If i venture out alone, noone recognises me. I am not wearing my “so and so’s mummy” badge.
When i bump into people at the park and start chatting, it’s only because their son has recognised my son, and it seems rude not to pass a few pleasantries.
I have never before known the name of the postman, or had so much to discuss with the man who delivers my shopping.
When we visit friends they sometimes ask whether my sons would like to stay for tea. Starving, i must wait until i get home. By then i am too busy.
I find this very similar to the situation at kids parties. There is never food for the adults. And the dancing is almost always exclusively for the children too. I wouldn’t mind except it’s the nearest i’ve come to a party for nearly 5 years.
My social life begins at 9 and ends at 5, and is dictated by who my sons like. It’s amazing how much conversation you can manage when you only have children in common.
I regularly get mail addressed to “The guardians of X”. The only mail i get for myself is bills. Otherwise they are addressed to the “householder”. Do the postal service not know my name anymore either?
It seems that, for a large part of the day at least, i have become invisible. Lost my identity. My needs, likes and dislikes no longer factored in.
At least when i worked i was Henrietta for a few hours a day. I miss that.
Being a stay at home mum can be lonely. It has taken me a good long while to start to feel like somebody again.
But then again, that’s a whole new post.