I originally wrote this post in early Feb when my mum was first diagnosed with cancer, and posted it on my friend Vegemitevix’s blog. Looking back I still can’t quite believe I had sensed so much way before the doctors did. If I’m honest, I had known something was coming months and months before. Sensed the dark, ominous cloud overhead. I’d just never admitted it. And that car? It came in for a second, third, fourth time, and the impact was devastating……..but I’m still standing.
Tell me a body is just bones, sinews and water. That the brain is merely a computer wired with neurons and synapses. Biological. Functional. And I’ll open up my heart and show you what’s inside. In my heart I knew. Sixth sense? Instinct? Love?
Last Tuesday that car finally sped round the corner and made contact. Then it reversed, stopped and put its hand brakes on. It waits, ready to go in for a second time.
Can I carry it? Or will my smug platitudes be laid bare. Only time will tell.