“A period of 6 months after Britain’s declaration of war on Germany in 1939 where nothing much happened. Also referred to as “The Twighlight War” by Churchill, and “The Sitting War” by the Germans.” (Wikipedia)
Yesterday I was trying to explain to Mr Milk how I feel at the moment. “I just feel very weird. A muted sense of panic, an uneasiness that won’t go away”. ” Well it’s just like the phoney war isn’t it?” he replied. “Someone has declared war on you, but nothing seems to be happening.”
And he was spot on. I am stumbling around in full body armour, pumped up and ready to fight, but I find myself standing alone on the battlefield with no sign of the enemy approaching. All around me is spookily quiet and I’m struggling to make sense of it.
I know that the enemy will come, and when it does the charge might be swift, unrelenting, brutal, but for now I can see, smell, taste nothing out of the ordinary. The blossom is beginning to form on the trees in the promise of summer and my darling mother looks as well and as beautiful as ever.
This silent and invisible enemy that stalks me is scaring the shit out of me; I just wish he’d turn to face me, so I can look him in the eye and know what I’m dealing with.
When the enemy comes, I’ll be there xxx
It’s a horrendous feeling of being in limbo-land. You feel like shouting “come on then, just bring it on!”.
Chin up & look him in the eye.
I understand x
Wow, very powerful. Your OH is a wise man. Take time to look after yourself in this quiet time.
Marking time is always the worst -that gut wrenching feeling of something about to happen.
I find it amazing and humbling that you are able to write so articulately and with such insight
Much love as always xx
Oh love, so sorry.
As you say, the worst thing about a phoney war is you don’t know if you can ever relax just in case
Sending utterly inadequate hugs
The unknown and waiting can sometimes be scarier. But you’ll be ready for whatever comes.
Shit, sometimes it’s so hard to find useful words. If I could box a big squeezy hug and send it to you I would.
Fantastic description of how you feel. Sending lots of hugs