Someone I knew over 15 years ago from school contacted me today out of the blue. She wanted to share with me a blog she had been writing about her husband’s battle with cancer. Sadly she had lost him in November, and felt instinctively that I would understand “what goes into a blog”. I immediately read a few of her posts, and in truth was absolutely floored by the dignity, affection and pride that oozes from her writing. A rare moment when your heart begins to canter and emotion rises in torrents from your stomach. You feel utterly compelled to do something, to mark that moment, to reach out.
I’ve talked before about writing, how emotional and personal the process is. Somehow people get that visual art, or poetry comes from the soul, but when it comes to a blog – well surely that’s just something you write in your spare time to catalogue your days with the children? It frustrates me. Through our writing we open ourselves up to judgement, criticism, derision in the hope that someone else will “get” what we are talking about.
I can only start to realise what significance words come to have when you are using them to chart something as important, life-altering, profound as the journey of a loved one through illness.
I came across the following quotation recently which said in a few words what I had been trying to say for a while.
“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” (Walter Wellesley “Red” Smith)
To my friend, I aim to start at the beginning of your story and read until I’m up to date. I’m sure I will laugh and cry with you along the way.
And yes, I understand.
Addendum: My friend has come back to me to say she is happy for me to carry her blog here.
The Wrighty Way
Please lend her some support. She is hoping to raise awareness of kidney cancer.
Beautifully put, and I love the quote too. So very true. Very sorry to hear of your friend’s loss. xx
Yep, and that quote is by a sport’s writer of all things…..
Pleased to meet you, come back soon!
x
bloody hell. great post.
I am so sorry for your friend, byt totally understand. I am an emotional writer. It just spurts out, no planning, no checking, just words, emotions and my heart.
Amen. x
This is why you are one of my favourite blogs. You may be included in a ‘parentblogger’ list but you are a writer who is a parent and your posts reflect that in a way many don’t (or don’t feel the need to). I will check out your friend’s blog. She is very brave. My posts on a similar subject are always quite draining to write and I hope she gains the support from it she deserves.
This comment is rather lovely. Thank you. x
I have bookmarked it for another time. Not sure I can go there, yet.
That quote is spot on.
My problem is when i do that i usually delete them and write something more vanilla.
I hope one day i can let the blood flow so to speak!
I can’t read your friends blog, i know the words already.
Great post Milk, makes me realise how closed my emotions are in my writing. I must try harder.
Mumra. x
I’m sorry to hear that u r closer to this experience my love. X
Awe, that is beautiful. Of course I will look at your friend’s blog. I bet we all share a few fears and tears.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s husband’s passing. Kidney cancer sounds incomprehensibly painful…. not that any other cancer isn’t I suppose.
I really REALLY needed to read this today, thank you. I have been grappling for the longest time with the fact that my blog – where I write, and just emotionally go “blah!” sometimes, okay most times – tends not to get as much ‘attention’ as some of the other more palatable blogs around the web. Is it because I’m not pithy enough, perky enough, cynical and scathing enough (for I also don’t make a habit of being a snark, which seems popular in some places as well)? I have to just be me. Ha. Get back to the name I gave myself years ago – I mostly go around as Being Me in the blogosphere – because I knew I had to maintain my integrity. It’s been hard lately. Til I read this today. I have renewed resolve to continue ‘being me’. Thank you! And thanks to your commenters too. I’m an emotional writer and I’m proud!
Ooops. Sorry for the ruddy blog post in your comments…. But at least now I have an idea for another blog post *aherm*
This comment really touched me.
If you are an emotional writer, if you put yourself out there to be judged, it is difficult not to look for some kind of validation coming back, and when it isn’t there it is hard. I wrote a post called “Naked” which described this feeling. But i do feel if you write honestly, and from the heart, you will stay true to yourself and feel proud of what and who you are putting out there. If you try to be too funny, aggressive, rude to get attention, you might just end up feeling very awkward and regretful.
M2M
This is why I love blogs. I love learning about people’s lives from this more personal, direct perspective.
I like the quote–a friend of mine—funny, from high school, now long lost—used to have this as his email signature. I liked thinking about it often.
I love that this isn’t the first time you’ve seen this quotation. It really is a great one.
x
Great post. It’s true – there are posts that feel like they come from beyond your internal organs. I’m just going to read your friend’s blog, thanks.
Yep there are. and it’s not always the ones you expect.
x