I’m not much of a flirt. Never have been. Except, very occasionally, when it comes to work.
Now before you get excited, no i don’t go about bending over in front of Stewart-in-accounts desk, pencil to lips cooing “oops i think i must’ve dropped a contact”. It’s just that, on occasion i might take on the role of the damsel in distress, flutter my eyelashes a bit, while asking for some help with something i can’t be arsed don’t have the skills to do.
It’s not something i do intentially, it just kind of happens. It’s like i intuitively know when it’s right to use it. A piece of my armoury more subtle than a suicide bomber (oops, am i allowed to make trite comparisons like that?) , yet more deadly than a double spike bayonette.
Now i’m a pretty smart lady. Sassy. I’m not going to cynically whore my way to the top of the career game. But being smart is about using all your assets surely? And sometimes it really does work. No real damage or embarrassment.
Feminists out there will be shouting at me that i sound no different from the pole dancers that say they love the art in their job, or the sex workers that tell you they do it purely for the love of sex, that i’m really succombing to male stereotypes and giving men what they want. I just don’t really buy it. I hate the objectification of the 21st century woman as much as the next person (perhaps even more), but in this case, it’s most definitely me with all the power, the ones whose needs are being met.
Really, if anyone should have any kind of gripe with this it’s the men. A steely browed top exec cynically out-maneouvred by feminine charm? Unforgiveable. Well, that’ll teach them for ignoring my precense in meetings over the years, assuming i must be there to take the minutes.
And all that without wearing a short skirt. Go Milk.
Prescience. Now go and make me a coffee.
Nothing wrong with using your charms to get what you want – I don’t carry the presentations to meetings (not enough room in my bag) and have been known to persuade others to do the horrid tasks because its beyond me. All part of the great work game in my view
Some call it flirting, some call it charm. Some call it charisma.
If a smile or a look or a comment makes something happen that needs to happen, (at work, at home, or anywhere else) then yep, call me a flirt too.
(Can I admit that I am training my children in this gentle art of manipulation? I know will serve them well…..)
Ooh you’re a smart lady Lucy.
We all know my feelings on feminists so I wont go there! But I’m am totally with you on the using your assets! I did it when I worked, I do it when I can’t do something, I did it in college. I have absolutely no problems exploiting the fact that men want to have their egos pampered/want to perv!
I think we all need to remind our colleagues (particularly the men!) that we are smart sassy and attractive, from time to time. Feminine wiles, or feminine intuition? Or simply good people skills?
Seems you and Lucy are on the same page. Maybe it’s innately sexist to consider it flirting – perhaps it is just having a good way with, erm, men?