For some reason i felt silly. Guilty even. Was i really just doing this for myself?
I starting blogging as a kind of therapy. Finding a voice again after feeling like i’d lost my identity making the transition from career girl to stay at home mum.
But does anyone really, ultimately blog for themselves? If it was all just about the writing, why blog at all? Why not keep a personal diary?
Writing is, in itself, a fairly narcissistic pastime. You have to believe you’ve got something to say, something that someone out there might be interested in reading. You’ve got to think that when you read your posts back to yourself that they sound pretty cool / funny / smart. Otherwise why would you publish them?
It’s a bit like facebook. Facebook polarises people. Either you do, or you wouldn’t be seen dead. The heaviest users of facebook are also the most self-absorbed. You know the ones. Post 50 updates a day all about what they’re doing, how they’re feeling, why you should laugh with them / cry with them / love them.
I count myself as a moderate facebook user. I definitely get a twinge of satisfaction when people respond positively to my comments. Pressing the “like” button feels like someone is saying they like me, not just what i’ve said. It affects my sense of self worth. Polishes my ego a bit. Sad, but true.
So there you go. I might tell you i write because i enjoy it. I might declare a love for the english language, the cute metaphor. And part of that is true. But the real truth is, mostly i blog so that people will be amused by me, admire my wit and intelligence, think i’m pretty cool.
And quite frankly, noone can tell me otherwise. It’s my blog after all. Right?!