I was once interviewed about the gap between how i would like to control my eating, and how i control my eating. i found this a bit confusing at the time because, put simply, i don’t. Control my eating that is.
I am a fatty.
I’m terrible for spending ages sizing up the Guillaume’s chocolates trying to work out which shell is the biggest. Looking through the packet of pitta breads to identify which one will hold the most filling. Carrying the dinner plates to the table and wondering if i can give the smallest portion to him in a manner that looks natural and not preplanned.
I can’t be the only one that does this sort of thing?
The truth is, i have an appetite. Now, as my friends will tell you, i’m not fat. Yet…. But i owe that to a huge amount of nervous energy, borderline ocd when it comes to cleaning, and not for want of trying.
The problem is that when i start eating something delicious, i just can’t stop. Take chocolate for example. I can eat chocolate until the point where i feel so sick i think i might be sick, and have to go to bed hoping that it will have passed by morning.
Paul Mckenna tells us to “eat consciously”, get back in tune with our bodes and just stop eating when we’re full. Simple. Problem is i’ve tried this, and i just can’t tell when i’m full until i’m so full i know i should have stopped eating a while ago.
I’ve always suspected that there must be evil people in laboratories mixing ingredients in the hope of finding the perfect combination for sending our brains into meltdown. The secret behind what makes “bad food” so damn yummy, addictive, “pernicious” (a brilliant word favoured by my dad).
It turns out that i was right. It is an exact combination of fat, salt and sugar to give what they call the “bliss factor”. And not only that, but it’s designed to melt in the mouth, so that the brain misses the full signals that would normally be triggered by chewing.
How bloody sneaky is that?
The problem is, i know people who don’t have this issue. I’ve watched them. They eat exactly what they want, when they want it. They just don’t eat when they’re not hungry. They never have to “control” their eating, because their body tells them when they’ve had enough.
You know the people i mean. They’re the ones that actually have biscuits and full fat yoghurts in their trolley at the supermarket. Us fatties would never “plan” to eat junk food and so buy it at the weekly shop. Our conveyor belts are full of good intentions – weight watchers this, slimming world that, cottage cheese and rice cakes (no normal person would eat these after all).
The difference is we buy all our chocolate and crisps at the local shop, when we can’t resist the temptation any longer. And we buy twice as much. (it’s for the kids after all)
So if addiction to junk food is chemical, why don’t thinnies get sucked in? Do we have more addictive personalities? Are we more succeptible to these horror chemicals? Is our “bliss” experience more mesmeric and so difficult to control?
In any case, it seems i’m off the hook. It’s all down to genetics.
What a relief. I can now reach for the biscuit tin guilt free. Blame those sneaky scientists.