The thing about walking away from your career is that you have to watch all those people that used to work for you overtake you on the ladder. Even the ones you thought were rubbish now seem to have “Director” in their title.
Don’t get me wrong, i was lucky enough to have some choice in my decision, but when you’ve worked a long time (in my case 10 years) to get to where you were you’ve got to expect to feel a twinge of resentment.
You still get those emails from recruitment consultants you used to know in your past life. “We’ve got the best job in the entire world just come onto our books, the one you would have bitten your right hand off for when you were still working”. You start to write a reply “do you think the employer would be prepared to offer some kind of flexibility for the right candidate? part time / job share / work from home?”. Ok maybe not. You think better of it and delete the email quickly.
It’s a difficult transition. I’ve still got my profile on LinkedIn. I’m not sure whether i’m supposed to amend my status (how much professional networking exposure does a “housewife” need? ), or take myself off altogether. Somehow that feels a bit too final. I’m not sure I’ve quite committed to that yet.
When I had Andrew I still put Primary Deputy Head on his birth certificate like I did with clara, didn’t want to put on House wife, even though this is what I am and I haven’t been a deputy for 3 years…
Whether you’re a working mum or a mum at home you still get those people who overtake you in yor career. For example, a friend who I mentored through the start of her career has recently been promoted to be my senior, the difference is, she has no children (although would like one) and I have 2 – now which would I prefer???
When I went back to work after my 1st child (at a yr old) I said to my manager I wanted another child quite soon and I was happy at the grade I was at work. She said to me, “kind of like taking a 5 yr career break”, the sound of that terrified me and now nearly 4yrs after going on my 1st mat leave, I’d say 5 yrs – at least!
Although I have to work, and I do enjoy it, I am really just treading water for now, also luckily my job allows me not to bring work home with me (that’d be impossible in the clinical sense anyway!) I also see different job opportuities and promotions which I think, oooo that’d be great, then remember, NO, I have two young children and the extra stress of a new job is something I believe can wait a little while longer.
You’re past skills are still very valuable and if you so choose to, will be very transferrable one day.
You’re quite right, i was so busy seeing it from my side i didn’t think about it your way round. In many respects that’s a whole lot more frustrating – you’re still going into work every day, putting the effort in, and you’re still having to watch them file past. What must it be like in careers where schmoozing after work is how you get your breaks?
No chance for me with schmoozing – straight to bed for snoozing!!!!
I have to say – I don’t miss my professional job for a minute. Not ever. Not even a few seconds. The only thing I miss is all the shopping I used to do for business clothes and the $250 hair cuts. Come to think of it, I think those were really the only things I liked at the end anyways.
Not sure what is better or worse… being over taken as housewife or being over taken while at work! Many of my more juniors friends are now being promoted to my level. Give it 2 years until one become my boss
As a secretary I can say that has never been an issue for me. I can imagine that you must find it quite galling though.
Sorry, I should have said “former secretary”!